Most parents try to do what is best for their children. But some parents are not like that. He can physically and sexually abuse his own children. Physical abuse is the act of harming a child to the extent of physical injury. which can be clearly observed, such as bulging eyes, cracked lips, and sexual abuse Refers to sexual relations in various forms between children and adults, such as petting. rape

The abusive behavior shown by parents towards their children, both physically and sexually, reappears frequently in the newspapers of our daily lives. It is mostly sexual abuse. So what is the main cause?

Major reasons why parents abuse their children

Research studies (Browne & Finkelhor, 1986) found that 90% of abusers are not mentally ill. Including not having the personality of a murderer But most of them tend to be lonely, lonely, unhappy, depressed, easily angry, and have a lot of pressure. Or there may be a health issue that can cause depression.

Another study (Wolf, 1985) reported that parents who abuse their children often experience the same trauma in the past. cause to believe that One’s actions are manifestations of self-power. as well as allowing them to control their own lives

In addition, parents who abuse their children I still don’t know how to be a good parent, that is, I don’t know how to make my child stop crying. and when unable to make the child stop, he becomes angry until he forgets to do bad behavior, such as putting an iron on the back of the child brutally hit the child Lack of knowledge about the normal development of children, for example, parents expect their children not to make a mess. or excretion is the way before the untimely It also lacks the ability to read your child’s emotional signals. making mistakes in responding to requirements For example, trying to breastfeed when the baby cries out in pain. When the child spit out the food, he became violent with anger.

considering family ties Of parents who abused their children, it was found that parents with such traits were more likely to have marital problems. and quarreling to the point of fighting more than other families; having many children in the home without discipline; their family or even with friends, the result of which is When stress arises in the family I don’t know who to turn to depend on. causing such a tragic thing to happen If a person has a person who will support the mind Help point the way in the right direction while coping with stress. The result will definitely not come out as it is.

Parents may not be the only factor contributing to abuse. The nature of the child may be an unintentional provocation for such behavior. A study (J.R. Reid et al., 1982) found that abused children tend to be more demanding of parental time and attention than other children. Part of it may be children with low birth weight. Or being a child who can’t stand still or a child with low intelligence or have a physical disability Another study (Tsai and Wagner, 1979) found that abused children tend to cry a lot. and have more negative behaviors than normal children

society and culture have contributed to the promotion of such behavior In addition to the elements of parents and children themselves, unemployment, having to endure work that they are not satisfied with. Severe domestic economic problems were also strongly associated with the abuse of wives and children. Culture is involved too. Any society with a culture that emphasizes violence places an attitude on severe punishment. This could easily lead to violence against helpless women and children. This is in contrast to a society with a non-violent culture. Offending children will not be beaten. But will focus on correcting behavior by other methods that can stop undesirable behavior as well, such as smiling and praising the child when doing the desired behavior, leaving the child alone when there is undesirable behavior in culture like this Children are not instilled in an attitude of violence. And there is no idea that violence can solve every problem.

In addition to physical abuse Children can still be subjected to sexual abuse. From the cases appearing in newspapers and other media, it was found that those who sexually abuse children. Usually a person close to the child and the child has a trust, such as the father, family members or friends of family members. Therefore, the method of prevention should focus on teaching children to be careful not to allow strangers or even people who children love and trust to touch, touch, caress, kiss, hug, take off their clothes. or persuade them to live in a secret place

However, such methods can be like a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can prevent sexual abuse from close people. But on the other hand, it may scare children. and obstructing the love and relationship with close people Another way is for parents to encourage their children to tell about the activities they do each day. Without reprimanding or punishing children if they do something wrong. To instill the idea that children can tell their parents everything without being punished. And parents can help their children in every way. It is believed that such methods will help parents to know about their children. and cut off the fire from the beginning of the wind

Parents who abuse their children Do you feel guilty and self-loathing for what you’ve done?

Wolfe (1985) found that parents who engage in such behavior Feeling self-hatred and ashamed of what you’ve done but felt that he lacked the power to stop it.

The impact of physical or sexual abuse on children

Of course, whether a child is physically or sexually abused There will be serious consequences that follow. Children who are physically abused have poor grades. Likes to separate from friends, aggressive, does not cooperate with others The result is Inability to get along with friends This may lead to anti-social behavior. Children who have been sexually abused are more likely to develop fear of the opposite sex. have a feeling of inferiority have behavioral problems low academic performance Preoccupation with sex, depression, distrust of others Including the problem of sexual adjustment. which such behavior will accompany the child even into adulthood

A study by Kaufman & Zigler (1987) found that children who are sexually abused act like “time bombs” ready to explode with violence against their children. ) has reported that if a child who is sexually abused receives psychological support from close encouraged children to vent their anger and hate openly Including being able to talk about their bad experiences without suppressing them. There is a chance that when you grow up to be an adult, you will have love and a happy family life.