What kind of parents do we want to be?

One of the things many adults wonder and worry about is how we will affect the next generation . He and his children lacked connection. which on this issue I came across an interesting perspective of developmental psychologist Richard Whiteboard, who has studied the relationship of success, happiness and ethics, and would like to share it with readers. has contemplated the following social and ethical developments

If we surveyed Thai parents with the question “What is the most important thing that we should instill in our children?” and if the order of these things The author believes that most parents would choose “ being good” to be the most important thing, followed by happiness and success.

Richard and his colleagues asked American parents the same question. In a national survey in 2014 and in addition to asking parents The survey also asked the opinions of young people. What’s interesting is The survey found that young people believe His parents valued success over being good. and one of the survey questions “My parents would be more proud of me. If I have good grades Compared to being a good person in society.” Three out of four teenagers agree with this statement.

The author believes that if there is such a survey in Thailand The difference between what parents value and what adolescents perceive. It likely happened the same way. So what is the source of this confusion?

One thing that can be explained is Nonverbal Communication of Adults with Adolescents

As a teacher, I believe that there is an important aspect of teaching the subject matter. All teachers share the same ideals and values ​​to instill good things in their students, such as critical thinking, curiosity, and creativity. which is an important feature that we all want to give to our learners but at the same time Teachers and parents recognize the necessity of good assessments, achievements, and grades. We all understand that “grades” are crucial to a child’s educational and career path, but if we’re not careful, we may instill the belief that grades are more important than other values ​​and attributes we, parents, and teachers have. want him to be

The author used to answer questions with students in class. Ready to say something like, “Don’t worry. This topic doesn’t pass the test.” The author intends to show the understanding of the students. that he has a lot of subject matter to memorize for the exam And the author wants to help them complete their studies in a limited amount of time. but it is possible that Students will interpret the words as follows. “If that thing doesn’t pass the test You don’t need to know” or “If it doesn’t affect your grade It’s not important.” It can be seen how easily our unconscious response can have a negative effect. Especially if it happens over and over again.

According to research by Richard et al. This happens to parents as well. If parents constantly put pressure on their studies, but rarely talk about the importance of being a good person. It is no surprise that children feel that their own success is the most important thing. And it’s no surprise that children feel their parents value their grades more than being nice or having compassion for others.




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