How to be a good parent: 8 practical tips

f it is true that parenting is the most difficult “job” in the world, how can you even be good parents ? There are many problems, indeed, the more the children grow, the more things instead of becoming simpler seem to become even more difficult.

From not sleeping because she cries, you’ve gone to having to raise your voice because she doesn’t listen to you.

Calm! For every problem there is a solution: the important thing is not to panic, to be present and above all, to use common sense. Here are  8 practical tips to be good parents !

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1. I would like a moment just for me

You’re not a failed parent just because you need some space for yourself every once in a while . No, you are just normal people. Go straight and treat yourself to that aperitif you so desire. If you don’t allow yourself some time to yourself from time to time, you could go out of your mind.

So a first rule to be good parents is to have ” balance in your private life ” to prevent negative effects. Your child doesn’t exist alone. You exist too!

2. I have become an overly permissive parent

You’ve never wanted to overwhelm your children with activities, so in your home, let things run on a more relaxed schedule. He has the time and space to enjoy himself, to play and grow independently. And you have time to relax.

If your daughter yells at a restaurant, you bribe her with ice cream. If she wants to stay up well after the allowed hours, let her. She makes things easier than putting up with another tantrum.

If you don’t know it yet,  permissive parents  is a synthetic formula to say ” you have spoiled your children too much “. In an effort to minimize conflict with your daughter, you have essentially taught her that she can have anything she wants if she just makes enough noise.

But it’s not too late. Temper yourself and get ready for some confrontation. Armor up and assert yourself. There will be a lot of noise. But don’t raise your voice too, stay reasonable and calm. Boundaries help your child grow mentally and emotionally . So you have to set limits that you shouldn’t exceed . Also, you should explain why they are there.

Your child still needs to know how to get to school on time, that you don’t paint your cat purple and that you are not just an ornament that occasionally combs your hair.



3. I am constantly worried about my child getting hurt

On the playground you are always attached to your child. If he goes for a bike ride, you make sure that he goes as fast as a snail. You are an overprotective parent . You don’t want your child to get hurt.

When he stumbles and you fail to catch him, he bursts into inconsolable weeping that justifies your protection. Even if the bua is nothing more than a scratch that doesn’t even bleed.

Bumps, bruises, scrapes and cuts hurt. But if your child never experiences it, he won’t learn to distinguish between what he can let go of and what deserves a good, inconsolable cry.

One of the hardest things a parent has to do is allow their child to take physical risks and, yes, occasionally even get the worst of it. Overprotective parents often exacerbate the problem of overreacting to minor traumas by acting the same way when comforting the child, i.e. spoiling and panicking.

So rest assured, consoling a little is good, but don’t overdo it. If you can overcome the pain of a banged finger, so can your child.

4. I’m not the parent I thought I was

You thought you were going to be a smart parent , you know, the guy that all other parents admire because he’s always so level-headed.

But… this story of parenthood is nothing like you expected!

Put yourself in perspective: As parents, you will be wrong . It’s a lot. There is no way around it, so just accept the fact that you will not achieve Perfect Parent status .

The good news is that you’re not alone, and one mistake (or even an unbroken string of seemingly disastrous mistakes) doesn’t mean you’ve caused irreparable damage. No one can predict what parenting brings or how it will affect you. You put everything you’ve learned before to the test and add an untold amount of stress.

5. I don’t always like my child

You would like the love for your child to make any other kind of love pale … but nothing, sometimes you really don’t like it and you can’t stand some of his behaviors

. This emotional dichotomy confuses you. Even if it’s just for a fleeting moment, the fact that you don’t like your child highlights shortcomings and a certain meanness in you. Perhaps you should never have become a parent . Perhaps you should have limited yourself to cats.

Just like your friend (and your cat too), you may find yourself at odds with your child as well , and therefore feel the need to step away from him for a moment. Do it. It doesn’t mean you are a bad parent. On the contrary, prove that you are an intelligent parent.

However, release the tension – yoga , a run , reading – take some time to relax, especially to avoid saying or doing anything that hurts your child . And remember that he still has to clear his head and needs help to do it. So don’t hold a grudge against him for too long. When you return, explain to him why you are irritated and discuss how to handle the situation if it arises again.

6. Why do I feel so sad?

No, you are not happy. Indeed, you feel like someone who does nothing all day long to establish the order of priorities to deal with continuous emergencies, and for this reason you do not derive joy from parenting . You simply don’t have the time.

The need to care for your child dominates your life, and you feel trapped in a role for which you are ill-equipped. Actually, worse: think that the little one would be better off with less stressed, less tired, less money-less, less sad parents.

You are not bad parents . You are depressed. Recent studies show that postpartum depression can occur in men as well as in women.

The solution is one: seek the help of a professional . There’s nothing wrong. Vent to a therapist who will help you figure out some ways to cope with, and hopefully overcome, the effects of depression and stress .



7. I never studied to be a parent

Since you announced that you were expecting a child, everyone, without exception, has felt compelled to give you information and books about it. You now have a well-stocked (and unread) library of parenting books, an endless list of youtube tutorials, and at least 300 names of awesome ways to raise your kids, half of which clash with each other.

Do you know how many parenting books you absolutely must read before having a baby? Exactly zero. You’re too busy to bother reading boring chapters on nap times.

You will find that your instincts work just fine . But here are the basics:

  • When the baby cries, take care of it.
  • If something worries you, contact your pediatrician.
  • Take some time for yourself as soon as you can.
  • Do not throw the child between the fan blades.

8. Everything costs too much

You’ve convinced yourself that parenting is some kind of scam. Bottles, breast pumps, baby food, diapers, clothes, toys and furnishings: the list of what the baby needs is endless and it’s all really expensive . Plus, as your child gets older, you find yourself replacing everything before it wears out.

The alternative is to look for friends or groups of mothers with slightly older children than yours , because a second-hand stroller as a gift costs exactly zero. As well as the clothes. Your child doesn’t care what stroller you buy or what brand of clothes you dress him in. Love is shown in other ways, not with brands.

Final bonus: the super tip!

Love your child and the rest will follow.

Whatever problems you think might be keeping you from being a good parent , know that nothing is more important than loving your child .

When the Beatles sang All You Need Is Love , they didn’t mean that that was all you need. They meant that that tool helps you to build others, to develop structures and projects. Love is the medium through which you can create all kinds of parenting relationships .

So don’t stress, don’t panic, don’t be dominated by anxiety or any other problem that arises. And to clarify the path of your love, follow this simple rule:




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